This is something that regularly comes up in conversation within my close circle of friends. We have Girl A who is in a relationship and has been for around six months. She made him wait until their third date before she had sex with him for the first time, and because she made him work, he had to make it something special. They went camping and everything was a surprise for her – there were fairy lights in the tent, a few beers, BBQ, music… It was apparently “magical”.
We also have Girl B who has just married her older other half (by 15 years) after a 4 year relationship. They are also expecting their first child. She made him wait a few months before they slept together for the first time. He was her first and only. Isn’t that the cutest?
We also have Girl C. Girl C married a one night stand that never left. She is currently going through a divorce with said one night stand, but they did manage four or five years together. To be fair, he was a bit of a jerk.
When do you have first time sex with a new guy?
I don’t think there are set rules when it comes down to sex with a new guy. There is no right and wrong answer to how many dates you should wait before you give it up. I have had long term relationships with men I had intended to be a one-night stand. I have had very short term relationships with men that I made wait for weeks before I took them to my bed. Is there a correlation between what date you make it to the bedroom, and how long your relationship will last, or the tone of it? Probably not.
Girls put a lot of pressure on what guys think of them and their choice of date for first time sex. Do you really think that these guys care when you give it up? Some of my closet male friends are happily in love and married to a girl they slept with on the first date. Some of my other closest male friends think that girls that give it up on the first date are cheap and easy. It’s very much a case of six of one and half a dozen of another… There is no right and wrong here.
Girls, I know you want to be sexy and demure; an angel yet so devilish but to be honest, you’re probably putting a lot more pressure on it than what needs to be. It’s very simple really – shave your legs just in case you get lucky and just see where the night takes you. If you give it up on the first date because you were so crazily consumed by lust for each other that you needed to have him there and then, so be it. People wait their whole lifetime to have crazy, unbridled, passionate sex like that. Live it and enjoy it, whether it becomes a regular feature in your life or just a very happy memory.
There’s nothing wrong with making him wait, on the other end of the spectrum. I certainly wouldn’t tell you to give it up just because he’s saying so. You do what makes you happy – first time sex with a new guy is always going to be nerve-wracking whether it’s on the first date or the 100th.
Why not just “wing” it? If it clicks it clicks. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Simple.
The “Wing” It Queen,