The Shocking Truth about Being “Too Picky”

being too picky

Most people buy into the idea that if you remain single for a long time, then you must be too picky––and that the solution is to settle for less. Don’t fall for it!

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Our reasoning, calculating minds can only see what has already happened. That leaves out a hell of a lot. Really, there are infinite possibilities––including the combination of mate-characteristics you seek. But because you haven’t seen that exact combination yet, your mind tells you that he or she doesn’t exist. Nonsense!

If you believe your mind––unquestioningly as most people do––then it follows logically that you should indeed settle. Your options appear to consist of just two: stay single, or settle for someone you feel lukewarm about.

Get What You REALLY Want

Your reasoning mind simply does not have access to new possibilities; it can only recycle the past. Most likely you want something new, not a rerun of My Sucky Romantic History, right? That’s where your Higher Mind steps in. It has access to the infinite set of possibilities AND it has the ability to connect you to all of it. It can see for miles and miles…

Figuring out what you want and why you want it is the job of your reasoning mind. The details of how it all happens, however, must be left to your Higher Mind. Getting your calculating mind on board as a team player––and understanding that you are not subject to its limitations––is your key to conscious Manifesting.

Dealing with Doubt

You don’t have to believe any of this. But if you’re willing to suspend disbelief for a few weeks, you’ll see some pleasing results.

Begin by focusing on your ideal mate’s qualities, but here’s the secret: focus ONLY on one quality at a time, in isolation. Do not attempt to piece him or her together, because that is where your calculating mind creates the backlash. Just enjoy those mate-qualities, be they physical, intellectual, emotional, or spiritual––wherever they turn up––and they will turn up more often.

Learn to Discern

When dating prospects appear, initially they might embody just one or two of your preferred qualities. Don’t get discouraged! These pseudo-suitors are good signs when you understand the overall Manifesting process. Don’t ever try to make someone into “the One.” When the right person arrives, it will be very obvious.

At the same time, do not allow your calculating mind to dismiss a date too quickly (unless of course it’s a major deal killer for you, like alcoholism). It’s crucial that you remain flexible, because your Higher Mind is quite clever and creative in filling your orders. Those ideal mate-qualities on your list are likely to show up in particular forms that you could never have predicted. Stick to your guns, while allowing for new possibilities: this is the Art of Discernment, and it’s well worth cultivating.

Debbianne is a MANifesting MENtor to single ladies around the globe, offering 1-on-1 private sessions, workshops and lectures. Her books, “How I Met the Man of My Dreams: a Guide to MANifesting Yours” and “The MANifesting Workbook,” provide a new down-to-earth explanation of the Law of Attraction and the conscious manifesting process. With humor, radical self-acceptance, and a keen understanding of your own mind, you can truly MANifest the Man of YOUR Dreams… and anything else you desire. Doubters welcomed!

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