slept with him too soon

He’s so great and those eyes just melt your soul. He wined you and he dined you, and in the heat of the moment you lost yourself in the moment. It was fun and it felt right at the time. But now, in the light of day, that may not have been the right choice. All those typical questions are floating through your mind. Did I sleep with him too soon? Will he ever call me again? Does he just think I’m some easy girl who’s only good for sex?

The anticipation in waiting for his call escalates to a new level. This goes beyond the basic ‘it’s been three days and he’s supposed to call now’ kind of anticipation, simply because the deed has been done and it was never discussed beforehand. No one knows what sex meant to you or him and whether or not you were on the same page, and compulsively checking your phone for a text, missed call, or email doesn’t change that.
The good news is there is never any exact number of dates you need to wait before sleeping with a guy. The good news is that while succumbing to passion, it was a fun and enjoyable time. The other good news? This isn’t 1950 and just because you slept with a guy doesn’t mean you have to emblazon your wardrobe with a bright red ‘A’.

Some men do write women off who have sex too soon

The bad news is that some men do write women off who have sex too soon as being really easy. The bad news is that there’s no way of knowing what your date was looking for – something long-term or just casual? Also, when getting physical too quickly in a relationship can lead to a lack of emotional intimacy. If there is no emotional foundation, it’s possible that the relationship may develop solely around the physical dynamic, which doesn’t ultimately lead to a long-lasting, sustainable commitment (though it is fun!).

Ultimately and unfortunately, there is only one thing to do in this conundrum. Wait it out. When stalking his Facebook page, don’t message him. When scrolling your phone, don’t send him a text message. It’s okay to search for any news articles to make sure he’s still alive, but whatever you do, do not call him. Make yourself busy by doing projects or spending time with friends. Maybe even leave the ball and chain we call a cell phone at home while out and about, thus preventing being confronted with the urge. Keep yourself from drinking an entire bottle of wine and leaving several drunk messages. Remain calm, and when he finally does call, it’ll be worth it.

Rachel Nielsen is a native of San Francisco, California, though she currently lives in Paris, France. She is a graduate from the American University of Paris where she founded the magazine Peacock. She has been writing and editing longer than she’s been walking, and she loves writing more than air. Her hobbies include speaking French poorly, watching horror movies, and being neurotic.

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