Thanks to apps like Tinder and more recently Hinge, indulging in one night stands has never been easier. No more peeking all across the room in a crowded bar, wondering if he’ll come over. No more rejecting rude guys in person or the ones you just don’t fancy. The stage is set for adventure; it only takes a few swipes and clicks.
One Night Stands, the Good
Let’s say, you’re in Venice for a few days and the gondola rower is particularly handsome. What’s more, he keeps smiling at you. Should you take him to your hotel room? Why not? Or you’re in Egypt, just finished your Nile Cruise and the tour guide asks you out for a drink. You’ve been admiring his dark eyes for days. Should you take it further? Is he charming? Respectful? Makes you laugh? Go for it.
How about another scenario? A school colleague stops in town. You haven’t seen him in ages. You hit it off famously at dinner. You’re surprised how much he’s matured, yet still kept his boyish charm. Laughs lead to kisses. Kisses could lead to more. Should you go for it? There is no time like the present. Charming, funny, possibly good looking men (and women) are bound to cross our path in life at some point or another. They usually can’t stay for longer. It’s down to circumstances.
What about going out on a prowl? Read on.
One Night Stands, the Bad
The nineties hit TV series “Sex and he City” made the one night stand a widely acceptable and talked about thing. It also made it acceptable for women to want it and to go for it. Poor Charlotte wanted to play hard to get. She was said good bye to and the guy returned to the bar to find Samantha. And we all know how that ended. The bar scene was and it still is dominated by hunters and game. Are you part of it? Which one are you?
How about when online dating? Do guys expect to get laid on the first date? Is that what all the date is about? What about women? What’s your experience? Would you?
What’s bad is that one night stands are so widespread; they start being thought of as the norm. And it’s not only men, but also women who draw the line at the one off. Adult websites (or their members) live to tell the tale.
Why is it bad? Let’s look at the physical aspect. We all know that the first time we’re clumsy with a sexual partner, simply because, unless we’re lucky, we have no idea what makes each other tick. Thus, sex for the first time is bound to be mediocre at best. How about the emotional aspect? It’s very seldom that both parties agree for it to be a one off. One partner might hope for more. Or they might hope for a rematch. In either case, feelings can easily get hurt.
One Night Stands, the Ugly
Once a favourite pastime of the random traveller, nowadays one night stands are the way the great majority of the younger generation wraps up a drunken night out. It doesn’t happen because you happen to be sad after a break up, or because you’re spending the weekend in Ibiza. It happens because you can. The risk of hooking up with complete strangers is significant. From being mugged, sexually abused, date raped, to possibly taking with you more than just some hazy memories, the dangers are not to be ignored.
Our new practices can also make us less social, less capable of interacting on a human level. They can make us lonely. We’re social animals at our core. We work and live better together. They also take away the thrill of the chase from men. They take away our thrill to be chased and courted.
Are one night stands a necessary bad? Tell us your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you.