Not every date is created equal. You have the good, the bad and the “eh”. For the not-so-great and downright terrible ones, holding a few good exit strategies in your back pocket can help immensely. As always, I’ve got you covered. Why re-invent the wheel if you don’t have to?
Keep a safe distance at the end of the night.
We’ve all been there. The date is coming to an end. Your suitor’s gaze tips you off that he might be ready to go in for the kill. Unfortunately, the stars on your planet didn’t quite line up the same as his. Maintaining a distance of approximately 2 – 3 human bodies can help give him the “I’m just not that into you” vibe. If he tries to close the gap (and there’s a possibility that he will) keep your body language neutral. Subtly locking your fingers in front of your torso, crossing your arms or shifting away from him are a couple of ways to get your point across.
Don’t kiss if there’s no chemistry.
Surely you know this sends mixed messages. Tonguing someone down then sending the proverbial pink slip via text is just shady. There is nothing in the rulebook that says a date must end with a kiss. In addition, some people are not well-equipped when it comes to dealing with rejection. While the kiss might not have meant anything to you, some consider that a sign to start planning their nuptials (yup, they’re out there). Those same folks are likely to seek revenge if they believe your interest in them was artificial. Avoiding that end of the night smooch might save you a huge headache in the long run.
But What About After the Date.
You might find that the date went well, but your interest for this person has faded. Or you received a text from them after you employed one or both of the aforementioned steps. Typically I suggest shying away from delivering negative messages via text; however, it can be successful if done tastefully. I once texted a gentleman saying, “Hey. It was really nice hanging out with you, but there wasn’t any chemistry. I think we’re better off remaining friends.” We had only gone out on one date and no sexual activity was involved. Most often it is better to have a phone conversation with the person. Explain how you feel without pointing out his or her shortcomings. This approach probably won’t be as effective for long-term, serious relationships.
These are just a few tips I’ve picked up along the way. If you have others, please share in the comments section below.