It’s the golden age of the Internet. All information is easily accessible with just the click of a button, so it’s almost inevitable that using Google and Facebook will result in researching your date.
The obsession of Google stalking your date.
There comes a moment when the object of your affection morphs into an obsession. In the very beginning of a relationship, when things are going well and time goes by quickly unless you’re apart, it’s very easy to make your new sweetie the center of the universe. You talk about him to everyone, your friends may or may not be tired of hearing about him, and he runs through your mind all day. There has to be an outlet for all this emotion. So you turn to Google, maybe to search for a way to distract yourself. Instead, you find yourself typing his name in the search bar, almost without thinking about it.
As creepy and obsessive it is to do this, everyone does. It’s one of those unwritten rules of dating decorum: if there’s a connection, you will find out everything that’s available on the Internet. Another one of those unwritten rules: if you learn something in your quest for tidbits to obsess about, do not let him know you know it. While everyone searches, it is an instant faux pas to regurgitate facts you found in your snooping to the target of your search.
Herein lies the problem with stalking your guy online – when all the fun bits of information are out there already, the magic of learning about him with him is taken out of the equation. The knowledge being absorbed through extensive googling takes out some of the excitement in every day conversation. Lying in bed while he talks tearfully about his childhood dog, Pogo, isn’t anything you didn’t already know. You already knew it was a golden lab and you already knew Pogo got hit by a car. Maybe now you’re learning that your new sugar has trouble letting go since he just told you he refuses to get another dog – Pogo can’t be replaced. (There ARE things you can’t learn on the Internet!)
While searching your squeeze is tempting, especially if there is a great connection, maybe try to avoid all the googling. It’s perfectly acceptable to do some background checks to make sure he’s not a serial killer, but once that’s out of the way, maybe let the get to know you process happen the old fashioned way.