Break ups are rough. Tears, memories and constant reminders of what you once had can be absolutely devastating. Grieving your loss is an important part of getting over your ex. But grievance is not the only part of the process. Try these proven methods to move forward.
1) Cry, cry, cry. Your friends and family might tell you he’s not worth your tears. He might not be, but your health and well-being are. Crying is a catharsis of emotions. All of the sadness, hurt and anger that you are feeling toward your ex will be released temporarily. And it is okay to get that out. In fact, it has been said that crying can elevate your mood and relieve stress. Take the time that you need and let it out.
2) Make a BUM. I’m not talking about a vagabond asking for handouts on a park bench. BUM, short for break up mix, is a term that I coined in high school with a friend of mine. We created playlists solely for the purpose of helping us survive being dumped. Music has a way of expressing one’s innermost feelings and emotions. It can be another mood elevator when you are feeling down. Selections for the BUM are up to you. I suggest choosing upbeat or fast paced songs to help get you out of your funk.
3) Laugh, laugh, laugh. After you’ve had those first few initial tear fests, think about some activities you enjoy without your ex. Break out one of your favorite comedies that you haven’t seen in a while. Create a Facebook event and invite all of your friends out to dinner and bowling. Life is full of joyous moments. Sometimes you just have to give it a little push.
4) Find a hobby (if you don’t already have one). Sitting at home alone on your couch can lead to unwelcome thoughts about the break up. Finding ways to stay busy is a great way to keep your mind off of your ex. You will also build new skills and network, which is a productive way to spend your time. For years I said that I wanted to write. Going through a break up was the catalyst I needed to create my blog and start writing. I haven’t looked back since, and neither should you!
5) Put away the past (optional). Pictures, souvenirs and other mementos that remind you of your ex can be hard to look at on a daily basis. If these things cause you to have an emotional reaction, ditch them. Maybe you are the type of person who doesn’t like throwing away items with sentimental value (I actually ripped up my prom pictures when my ex-boyfriend broke my heart and regret it to this day). In that case, you can put them in a box and store them somewhere. There is no use in dredging up negative feelings if it’s avoidable.
Life sucks immediately a break up, but it always gets better. Reflect on the lessons learned from your previous relationship and use your time alone to focus on being the best you possible. Love will find you again.