Whilst researching the top places in London for where to go on a date in London, I turned to my group of friends and asked for their suggestions. Their responses ranged from nice dinner locations to rooftop venues with breathtaking views. Interestingly though, my Norwegian group of friends had a response that pretty much defies what we know about the standard rules of dating. My good-looking single guy friend Andreas said it best, “I’m Norwegian… We don’t do dates like you guys do.”
So my thoughts went something like this: Girls in Norway must get the short end of the stick since they don’t get taken out on nice dates. However, even the girls don’t seem to mind the style of dating Norwegians are so typically accustomed to.
I decided to pursue this topic further with my female friends, also from Norway. I must also add that many of my Norwegian female friends have been in long-term relationships also with Norwegian guys. In their best attempt, they’ve related to me what it’s like dating a Norwegian.
“We meet outside, drunk, have one-night stand, and if we’re lucky, the guy will text us the day after or the next time he’s going out (that’s typical), to meet again. Many times that doesn’t happen.”
“I think a lot of couples in Norway meet through parties where they have common friends, which mean they should not be an asshole and should keep in touch, and they meet at universities and through friends and etc., which is a nicer way of meeting.”
“Most contact goes through SMS or face book. We might communicate face-to-face, but only when we’re drunk, and still that is only if we don’t know each other and we meet in a bar.”
“We don’t dare to ask out anyone… Unless we think it’s highly possible that they also are interested.”
“In general, you meet when you’re drunk and then hook up. Then after, maybe text a little, and then hook up again.”
“After my best friend hooked up twice (with her current boyfriend), then he asked her out on a really nice date.”
“Oftentimes sex comes first, than dates”
“The key is to not go to bed with him first night and get to know them, so you capture them before they get anything.”
So in a nutshell, it seems that only under the influence of alcohol and around a group of friends will a Norwegian think to approach you. Upon your initial encounter, one of you would then suggest hanging out, like going back to his or her place and watching a movie, which is Norwegian code for hooking up and quite possibly having sex. Through a repetition of drinking, getting drunk, and doing the deed, you will eventually ease into a relationship.
As a confused American who’s accustomed to dating, drinking, and then some more before you score, I ask, “What differentiates a one night stand from a long term successful relationship?” Apparently the answer varies, and as my Norwegian friends are all in blissful relationships with their Norwegian counterparts, they leave me with the simple response of “you just know.”