There’s one theory that, if you kiss enough frogs you will eventually find a prince or princess. For me that’s a little too much effort for an unguaranteed outcome. But so many people dive into dating with this sort of attitude: keep on dating and eventually I’ll meet ‘The One’.
What if you could be smarter in your dating plan and create the right shaped space for your ideal partner to come along and fit right in. That would definitely save on the lip salve wouldn’t it?
Tired of kissing frogs?
When I speak to my clients about the Law of Attraction they either discount it straight away or have tried it and found that it didn’t work for them. The Law of Attraction is about pulling towards you what you want. In my experience the reason it doesn’t work, or works sporadically, is that we don’t know what we really want and this is especially true of our ideal partner.
So, for my clients who are dating unsuccessfully, or want to get back to dating after a failed relationship, I encourage them to go through a process called ‘test-driving’. Here are the steps:
1. Describe your ideal partner. Think about their physical appearance, their qualities, how they connect with you and make you feel. Write down everything you can think of. Then leave it for at least a day before going back to review it.
2. Now review your description. Compared to a real person, how multi-dimensional is your description? In most cases our initial thoughts are two dimensional or certainly sketchy in places. Does your description portray a perfect scenario or does it cover the ups and downs of life? How does your fictional partner react when you’re ill, when the roof’s leaking, when you get impatient with them? It’s time to get real because relationships in real life are nothing like our fantasies or a romantic film.
3. Now it’s time to test drive your described partner in real scenarios. This might sound a bit weird but stay with me. You are going to live with this person in your imagination, every single moment of every day. So, you read an article then discuss it with this person. How do they react? Is their response stimulating and enjoyable? Take this person shopping with you, to the doctor, on holiday, to work and catch up with them before you go to sleep.
The more you can do this the more definition you will add to your description which means you will gain greater clarity of who you really want and who is right for you.
Make no mistake; this is not about having an imaginary friend. It is about clarifying what you want and making an energetic space that will accommodate the right person in your life. And that is how the Law of Attraction really works and how you can avoid the frogs.