9 ways to get your divorced boyfriend to fall in love with you

Being a divorced person for 6 years, I think I know the divorced guy pretty well. I realize that every man is unique, of course, but based on the divorced men I know, I can tell you there’s a fine line between loving him enough and loving him too much. It’s a bit tricky.

Here are 9 ways to get your divorced boyfriend to fall in love with you.

1.     Never talk about the future.   “Where is this going?” “What are we doing?” “Do you think I’m the one?” The divorced guy doesn’t want to be asked these questions. He has no clue as to what the answers are. All he knows is, he just got divorced and can only handle the present for right now. So, enjoy the relationship for today. He will love you for giving him the gift of time.

 2.     Give him space. The guy recently got out of a long term relationship (his marriage.) He doesn’t need a girlfriend who he has to call every two minutes, or who he feels obligated to go out with every Saturday night. Let him spend time with his guy friends, or his kids, or even alone. Give him space, and he will want you more.

 3.     Be the fun girl. Chances are, the last few months (or years) of his marriage weren’t fun. He probably can’t remember the last time he had a good time. Be the girl who takes him to cool restaurants, who suggests an interesting museum, who makes him watch one of your favorite movies he’s never seen. Show him YOU.

 4.     Minimize nagging. Excessive nagging leads to getting dumped. Fast. No guy wants a girl who is constantly telling him what he can and can’t do, badgering him about the things he does wrong and the bad habits he has.

5.     Show him the right amount of affection.  There’s a fine line when it comes to how much affection the divorced guy wants to be shown. On one hand, he wants cheek kisses and hand holding and hugs. He’s most likely had a lack of those things for awhile.  On the other hand, he doesn’t want to be smothered.  He doesn’t want you plopping yourself down on his lap and making out at the dinner table at a fancy restaurant.

 6.     Avoid playing games. Unlike guys before marriage, divorced guys aren’t into games. If you like him, he wants to know. Don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel. If he calls you, call him back. If he texts, answer the text. No need to wait two days so he will think you’re cool. Divorced guys don’t get scared as much as they did before marriage. They like commitment.

7.     Don’t pressure him to spend time with your kids. He’s trying to spend time with his own kids, who he sees so much less than he did when he was married. Why should he feel pressured to be with your kids? It’s not personal. I’m sure he likes your kids. Let the whole kid thing breathe, and it will happen naturally.

8.     Display acts of kindness. Chances are, when your guy was married, his wife wasn’t very nice to him. I’m not faulting her, by the way. Whatever the situation was, at the end of the marriage, she was most likely anything but sugary sweet. So, he needs sweet. Be sweet. Send him a card, just to be nice. Buy him new cologne for no occasion. Give him a back rub. Acts of kindness go a long way. AND, they are usually reciprocated.

9.     Focus on your career. There is nothing sexier to a man than a girl who loves her career, who has a passion for her work, and who goes to her job everyday with enthusiasm. But, don’t just find a job you love like this for a guy, do it for yourself!

Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling. She is also the author of the comedic novel, FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE, about life after divorce. Ms. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter and columnist for Sun-Times Media. She lives in Chicago with her two kids. And she’s divorced (obviously.)

Be first to comment